January 2018
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How I Am Dealing with Death

I am a newbie in the world of loss.  I’m 28 years old and until last year, I hadn’t lost anyone close to me in my whole life. 

But last year my husband’s grandma died.  I had known her for 8 years.  Despite the fact that she was in pain, it was still so hard to accept that a fantastic 61 year marriage had come to an end and even harder to watch my loved ones suffer.

About a month ago, my maternal grandmother lost her brother to diabetes.  Today my other grandmother is being told her sister passed away from a heart attack.  My grandmothers are taking this way better than I could have expected.  They are tough and age has taught them to expect death.

Since our remaining grandparents range from 75-90, we know the next decade or so is going to be rough.  I’ve also consoled more friends on their own losses in the last year too.  I accompanied a close friend from Houston to Dallas on the first work day of this year since her nephew passed away at a way-too-young 42.  It was hard to see so many people having to deal with someone dying way too early.

It just seems that I’ve hit the point where death is way more frequent and I have to say goodbye to the butterflies and rainbows of ignorance.  As hard as it is to mourn or to watch others do the same, I do finally feel that I’ve entered that world of “adulthood”.

So here’s my line of thinking now – life is short, sadness is natural, but there is another smile right around the bend.  I’m going to take the hits, I am going to console my loved ones, but I refuse to give up my general happiness with life.  Take that death, I’m going to be freaking stubborn.  :-)

Good luck to everyone else out there who has to make their own battle armor against mortality.  I am sorry for any losses you go through too.

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3 comments to How I Am Dealing with Death

  • *patpatpat*

    The thing I love most about Catholic funerals (the only kind to which I have been) is their celebration of the life and legacy of the individual.
    Nicole recently posted..Hacking my work habits Part – The CD method

  • My cousin and I have a very different opinion and view of how to honor a departed loved one. She thinks it’s somehow disrespectful to go on with your life and laugh at the happy memories that you did have with a person. Sorrow and mourning is very important to her and she clings to it like it’s the last bit of them she’s allowed to have. I’m sad for her.

    I’d really like to hope that if I dropped dead tomorrow my children and family would go on to lead normal and happy lives, even without me. That would suck if my death caused their lives to be all screwed up too.

    People are stronger than you think and have the capacity to rise to the challenge when necessary.

  • @Nicole, I grew up Catholic and completely agree, but I just went to my first Baptist funeral for my husband’s grandma and can confirm that they do the same, lol. Plus, their funeral doesn’t take as long but the wake afterwards is just as sweet.

    @First Gen, clinging to sadness and grief is just bad for everyone involved and I doubt our loved ones would want us to do that anyway, right? And yes, people are way stronger than I always thought…